2 min read
16 Nov

                     My message this week from my higher power has been concentrated on acceptance. Accepting the things, I can't control and changing the things I can. I sat at a Whataburger yesterday and ordered something I usually don’t get. They were busy and it took an extra 6-8 minutes from the normal wait and all I could do was chuckle and accept the circumstances. I didn’t complain, I didn’t sit there and pout and what did I receive? A free cookie was placed in the bag and somehow it all felt worth it. I accepted that I needed to be patient, and was rewarded for that patience. There were many times when that wasn’t the case, and it felt like the lessons of life were being dragged on painfully. With no reward or payoff in site, I almost gave up.  

I accepted that everyone I date is not going to be compatible with me, and neither are my friends. Rejection is a hard thing either way, its where I feel the most hopeless and no sense of control, but that’s the point. It's not about me. It has nothing to do with me, it's simply the other person telling me we don’t mesh and that’s perfectly fine. I have to accept that; I have to accept not everyone is going to be a match for me as well. I tried many times in my past to change their thinking, their decision only to my own detriment. I was constantly fighting an uphill battle which I always lost. Trying to prove myself, trying to fit their needs as if I wasn’t good enough. But I am good enough to the right people, and wasting time and energy on people who don’t see me that way is a fruitless endeavor.  

So, I do my best not to take these things personally, and its done wonders for my self-esteem. I can see myself as the human deserving of love and affection. Because I accepted myself for who I am, and my limitations. There are things I can never be, things I tried to be and failed, but they don’t make me any less worthy. The same goes for you. Our missed perceptions are dangerous to those of us in recovery. The biggest lesson of acceptance isn't liking everything, or being okay with it. There are people, places and things that I accept, but still want nothing to do with. It's about accepting that it's not about you, it never has been. It's about saying I can accept that these things happened to me, these people are the way they are and there's nothing I can do to change them. Accepting that there are things you can change about yourself like your perception, your mindset.  

The past won't go away, it won't change regardless of what we do in the present. Accept the pain happened, those stressors happened, those traumatic events happened, and live your live without letting them dictate your present and your future. That’s acceptance, that’s what we should strive for in recovery. Stop letting these moments of pain, shame and blame control your future.  

In the end I pray for this, that we rise above our circumstances to find acceptance and peace. Peace of mind for the present and peace of mind for the future. Peace is such a precious resource, so don’t let be spent on things out of your control.   

With much love, 

Mack  

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